There’s a tomato plant on my balcony. She’s trapped in a ceramic container, but she doesn’t seem to mind. It’s not keeping her from making her appointments, it seems. Last week, I stepped out onto my balcony to give her some water and BANG! Ten of her fruits had turned a bright lipstick red all at once. Time for action! What to do? I decided that the best thing to do was to rip them from their source of sustenance and place them on my sunny kitchen windowsill. Such is life.

Gazpacho ensued. The best Gazpacho I’ve ever made, I think. Powerfully medicinal and delicious to boot, this is how it went:

Stuff:

2.5 pounds of tomatoes, tasty ones
2-3 slices of bread, seedy and heavy and dense, soaked in water for a few minutes
2 small cucumbers, peeled, seeded and chopped
1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1 tspn red chili flakes
2 garlic cloves, chopped (don’t use a garlic press for this one)
juice of 1 lime, with the seeds picked out
juice of 1 lemon, seeds picked out
1 dollop of Shriracha (aka “Rooster Sauce”, wtf? WHY?)
salt-n-pepa
handful of fresh basil

How You Should Treat This Stuff

With due reverence , you should proceed as follows:

1. Boil a big pot of water, remove from heat, and drop your tomatoes into the hot water like lobsters heading to their death. Wait 30 seconds for the lobsters to stop moving….er….for the tomatoes to be ready, and peel the tomatoes with ease. Chop the tomatoes coarsely. Don’t put too much effort into the chopping, they’ll end up in a blender in a moment.
2. Put all (ALL!) of the ingredients into your blender or food processor. I don’t have a food processor, so I’m using my old blender, a blender that lives to blend margaritas, and while it has enough capacity to get you drunk, it doesn’t fit all of these ingredients. This means that I have to do it two batches. Again; such is life. Roll with it.
3. Blend the mixture for just a few moments, don’t over-do it. Chunky is better. Gazpacho is not a smoothie.
4. Garnish with some of the remaining basil leaves and serve with warm toast or croutons. Or, hell, avocados are in season right now, slice one up and garnish the soup with THAT. Fuck ,yeah! Good job. Keep up the good work, sailor.
    

Listening Recommendation: I’ve got MJ’s “Off the Wall” on right now. Because really, I wanna Rock with You and Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough.

Things You Gotta Find in Your Kitchen:

1 cup Arborio short grain rice (or sushi rice)
10 oz of light coconut milk (unsweetened)
6 oz water
1 1/2 Tbspns honey (or brown rice syrup)
5 cardamom pods
5 cardamom seeds (crushed with the side of a knife)
1 cinammon stick
1/4 tspn cinammon
dash of salt
(optional) fresh tropical fruit, whatever smiles at you at the store!
(optional) 2 oz of organic dark chocolate (70% cocoa)

Shake it, Dude!

1. Combine the coconut milk and water in a small saucepan with a tightfitting lid over low heat. Bring to a gentle simmer.
2. Add the rice, honey and spices. Making sure to keep the heat low, cover the pot and simmer the rice until the rice is very tender and most of the liquid is absorbed, about 20 minutes. During this time, stir the rice occasionally. Add more water if things get dry. Remember the goal is a pudding, not a pile of steamed rice.
3. Once tender, take the rice off the burner and taste it… add more honey/cinammon/salt until it pleases you. Hunt for the cardamom pods (good luck!) and remove them.
4. Transfer the rice into a small serving dish, sprinkle with some cinammon for decoration, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until chilled.

I like to top the pudding with some fresh tropical fruit (mango? papaya? kiwi? orange? red grapefruit?) and let the fruit juice sink into the pudding in the fridge. To serve, I tend to sprinkle dark chocolate shavings on top. They make a GREAT complement to the fresh fruit. If you’re serving the pudding in the nude (i.e. without fruit), then sprinkle a little more coconut milk on top before serving it, to make it extra-creamy and moist. A regular can of coconut milk tends to have 15.5 oz in it, so you should have plenty left over from earlier for the sprinkling action.

Taken from the New Whole Foods Encyclopediaby Rebecca Wood;

Health Benefits of Cloves: “…Cloves tonify the kidney, spleen-pancreas, and stomach… cloves aid digestion, treat nausea, hiccups, and vomiting. They also treat impotence due to kidney deficiency.”

Health Benefits of Onions: “The onion is valued its medicinal properties, which improve kidney function and lowering cholesterol. The onion is an exceptionally strong antioxidant and contains numerous anti-cancer agents. It is anti-inflammatory, antibiotic, and antiviral. Onions also help remove parasites and heavy metals from the system. ”

A clove-studded onion is a delicious and savory ingredient, especially when paired with wild mushrooms and nutmeg. Take a small yellow or white onion, remove the skin, and stud the onion with a dozen or so cloves. Wrap the onion in plastic wrap and let it rest in the refrigerator while you’re prepping the rest of your dinner ingredients. Freshly dried cloves are a rich brown color, sticky and oily and give off a sweet, thick aroma. If your dried cloves are black, shriveled, or dry and brittle, they are old and should be discarded. I buy cloves frequently, in small quantities, from a local bulk spice dealer.

Coming up next: Wild Mushroom Pasta, a recipe which uses a clove studded onion as a source of its complex and comforting flavor.  

(Wood, Rebecca. The New Whole Foods Encyclopedia: A Comprehensive Resource for Healthy Eating. Penguin Compass Publishing, 1999.)

Amanda Star

Comedy! Varietè! BURLESQUE! Aerialists!

Sick of winter yet? I am. Fortunately for us, there’s a cure! It’s the Moisture Festival! At just over 3-weeks long, the Moisture Festival is the longest-running Vaudeville Festival in the world…and it’s right here in Seattle! Think Dancing Girls! Top hats! Think Acrobats! Think Clowns! (no…seriously… think clowns. Trust me, they’re a good thing and some of these clowns are NOT for kids.) Think BEER! The festival is being hosted at Hale’s Palladium where delicious microbrew abounds. My cup runneth over, or at least it did last night. I spilled beer on my boot after the volunteer coordination meeting.

The festival runs from March 11th – April 5th, 2009 and, for the first time ever, is a little bit in cahoots with the Seattle Independent Film Festival (SIFF). Check out the schedule here:

http://www.moisturefestival.org

Check it out. It’s good. Very, very good.

From the Magnet Magazine website:

I made this as a healing tonic for an ailing friend the other day. I improvised the recipe and absolutely loved the result!

Ingredients:

2 lbs of garnet yams, peeled and diced into roughly equal-size pieces
2 cubes of veggie bouillon
olive oil or butter, for frying
1 large yellow onion, peeled and finely chopped
1 stalk of celery, chopped
4 sweet carrots, peeled and sliced
1/2 cup coconut milk
1 cinnamon stick
1/8 tspn nutmeg

Easy Does It:

1. Dissolve one bouillon cube in a large stock pot with just enough water to cover the potatoes. Add the potatoes and boil until tender. The cooking time will depend on the size you cut the potatoes to. In my case, the potatoes were chopped into approx 1 1/2 in cubes and they took 20 minutes till they were done.
2. Strain the cooked potatoes and SAVE THE BROTH!
3. Add the oil to the pot and gently brown the onions, celery, and carrots over medium heat.
4. Put the cooked potatoes back into the pot with the onion mixture, pour a cup of the saved broth over them, and make a good attempt at mixing and mashing the mess. Transfer the mix into a food processor (or blender) and add the coconut milk. Liquify on high and add in more of the leftover broth until you’ve achieved a nice, thick soup consistency. I had to do this in 2 batches because my blender was too small. I also dissolved a second veggie bouillon cube in another cup of water and added most of it to the blender to move from “mashed sweet potatoes” to “sweet potato bisque”.
5. Once you and the soup are feeling smooth, transfer it back into the soup pot. Taste it.
6. Add the nutmeg (careful! don’t put too much!) and cinammon stick and keep the soup warm on very low heat for 10 minutes or so, to give the cinnamon stick a little time to work its magic. Taste it again. Add salt if needed.

DELICIOUSNESS!

Listening Recommendation:  I felt very nurturing while making this soup and it triggered the desire to hear someone vulnerable. I put in Antony and the Johnsons, “I Am a Bird Now”. It hit the spot.

When the weather turns cold and the leaves start to fall, I always get the urge to snuggle up indoors and eat soups or stews. At the grocery store the other night, I had to suppress a squeal of delight when my eyes fell upon the warm, soft orange glow of a pile of butternut squash(es?). God, I love fall! I ran my hands over the smooth golden orbs, picked out two small ones, and put them into my cart. Off I went. Today, on a lazy Sunday afternoon, I slaughtered them using my largest and sharpest knife.

Ingredients

2 small butternut squashes, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes
1 large yellow onion, roughly chopped
4 cloves of garlic, minced
1 shallot, chopped
3 sweet young carrots, peeled and sliced
2 apples, I used Fujis, peeled and cut into chunks
2 inches of fresh ginger, peeled and minced
4 cups of vegetable broth
5 bay leaves
1/2 tspn oregano (fresh is best)
1/2 tspn rubbed sage (fresh is best)
a little olive oil for frying

Directions

1. Heat a little olive oil in a large soup pot, over medium heat. Add the garlic, onion, shallot, apples, ginger, and carrots. Saute them until the onions turn soft. Keep the heat low enough, and stir frequently enough, so that the mixture doesn’t really brown. You don’t want the dark flavor that browning lends.
2. Add the bay leaves, vegetable broth, spices, and butternut squash. Bring to a gentle boil. Cover the pot tightly and simmer, stirring frequently, for 45 minutes, or until the squash starts to fall apart.
3. Remove from heat and fish out the bay leaves. Transfer the soup into a blender or food processor and liquify. If you have one of those handy-dandy handheld blenders, that might work well, too. My blender isn’t big enough to handle all this soup in one sitting, so I do it in two batches.  Transfer the finished product back into the soup pot.
4. Taste the soup. Depending on the saltiness of the broth you used, you might have to add a little salt. Definitely add a hefty helping of black pepper.
5. Serve it up! If you’re a fan of dairy, a little spoonful of sour cream (or plain greek yoghurt) swirled into the center of each bowl makes for a beautiful, eye-catching finish, and the taste is an excellent complement to the soup. Alternatively, a little sprinkling of black pepper and some fresh oregano leaves achieves the same. 

Listening Recommendation

Herbie Hancock, “Takin’ Off”, 1962. Herbie is joined by Freddie Hubbard and Dexter Gordon on this album.  It is sweetness.

This is a delicious way to whip up a full meal in 15 minutes! I keep most of these ingredients in my kitchen as staples, so this is a favorite after a late night at work. The ginger and garlic help cleanse your body after a stressy day.

This recipe only serves 2. Feel free to double it if you’ve got more people to feed.

Ingredients:

1-3oz bundle of buckwheat Soba noodles
1 clove of garlic (minced)
1 1/2 inches of fresh ginger, peeled and minced
1 medium red onion, cut into fine slices
1 red pepper, sliced
olive oil for frying
1 Tbspn Tamari soy sauce
4 oz marinated baked extra-firm tofu in a savory flavor
sesame seeds and toasted sesame oil to garnish

What You’re Gonna Be Doing

1. Boil the Soba noodles according to package instructions. Be careful not to overcook them, you’ll be using them in the stir-fry.
2. Heat the olive oil over medium heat in either a wok or a large non-stick frying pan.
3. Saute the garlic/onion/ginger until the onion is soft, but not dark. 3 minutes will suffice.
4. Add the red pepper to the pan, and stir-fry until the mixture *just* starts to brown.
5. Add the noodles and tamari, increase the heat to high. Stir-fry for 1 minute more. Set aside.
6. Briefly toss the tofu into the hot wok or pan, you just want to warm it up.
7. Serve the noodles with slices of marinated tofu on top, drizzle with a little bit of sesame oil, and garnish with sesame seeds.

Listening Recommendation: Stereo Total, “Do the Bambi”, because who doesn’t like sexy French and German women singing catchy songs?

It’s plum butter! It’s awesome. It’s a German tradition. Italian plums are in season, and this is one of my favorite things to do with them. There’s just something about making little jars of things, arranging them in a little row, putting a ribbon around the lid, that makes me clasp my hands to my chest. It does take a long time to prepare this recipe, but the result is delicious, your house will  turn into an aromatherapy studio, and your family and friends will think you are a demi-god when you present them with little jars of this delectable breakfast spread.

Whatcha Need

5 lbs of ripe Italian plums, washed and roughly chopped, with the stones removed
3/4 cup of white sugar
3/4 cup of brown sugar
1 Tbspn cinammon
5 cloves, freshly ground or 1/2 tspn ground cloves

Whatcha Should Do With It

1. Mix the chopped plums with the sugar and spices in a large cookpot. Let it sit on the counter, with a lid on, for 2-3 hours, so the flavors start to blend.
2. Preheat your oven to 350F.
3. Transfer the plums into a large, oven-safe dish. I use my deep lasagna pan, it works great. Shove the whole shebang into the oven. The total bake time will be about 3 hours.
4. Prop the oven door open an inch or so for the first 45 minutes of bake time. I stick a wooden spoon into the door. This is so the steam can escape the oven more easily, dehydrating the plums more quickly.
5. Every 30 minutes or so, you’ll want to reach into the oven and use a rubber spatula to turn the plum mixture as it cooks. It will thicken, the plums will fall apart, and the mixture will get darker and darker until it’s almost the color of chocolate, only plummier.
6. Once finished, fill the hot Pflaumenmus into clean canning jars, put the lids on, and turn them upside-down on the counter as they cool.
7. Once they’ve cooled completely, tie a little ribbon around the lid and clasp your hands to your chest. Prepare for your new life as a demi-god, as you decide which of your friends and family you love the most.

I store the spare jars in the freezer. This recipe will make about 8 1-cup jars of Pflaumenmus.

Listening Recommendation: The Moondoggies, “Don’t Be a Stranger”

Isaac hasn’t actually tasted this pumpkin pie recipe yet. He will, though…even if it means that I have to schlep pie to my next piano lesson. Actually, I think I’ll do that! It’ll make me feel better about the fact that I’ve been temporarily distracted from practicing piano like I should. Isaac needs to know that I really, really, really mean it. I love taking piano lessons with him! That, and if I bring a pie with me next time, then he’ll undoubtedly let me eat some of it during my lesson and that would rock because I *LOVE* this recipe. I’ve spent 2 fall seasons perfecting it. My eyes popped out at the grocery store this week because I saw culinary pumpkins.  :)

Ingredients

1 pie crust (*)
1 lb of fresh steamed culinary pumpkin (**)
1 Tbspn cinammon
1 tspn ground ginger
1/2 tspn ground cloves (***)
1/2 tspn salt
3/4 cup maple syrup (or 3/4 cup brown sugar, if you don’t have any syrup)
1 Tbspn Blackstrap Molasses
1 tspn cornstarch
1/2 cup alterna-milk (soy/hemp/oat/almond/whatev’s)
1/2 cup firm tofu, squished up

How-To, Baby Blue

1) Preheat your oven to 425F.
 
2) Put all of your ingredients (except for the pie crust, of course) into a blender. Hit the “puree” button like you’re making a margarita. BZZZZ bzzzz BZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ! (until well-blended, about 20 seconds).

3) Pour the whole mess into your pie crust and shove it in the oven. You’ll want to leave it at 425F for the first 35 minutes of cooking time. After those 35 minutes, decrease the heat to 350F and bake the pie until it firms up, or about another half hour more. (note: the pie will firm up a little more as it cools, so don’t sweat it too much). 

4) While you’ve got the pie in the oven, walk around your place and breathe deeply. Even if you live in a shitty 2-room apartment in the city, the smell from the oven will make it smell like a real home. I’m normally wearing woollen socks and pajama pants while I’m making this. This is what life is all about: Comfort. Well… ok, there’s comfort, music, sex, and booze. Less emphasis on the booze and sex will go better, but then you probably already knew that.

Listening Recommendation:  Art Tatum, “Complete Capitol Recordings”, 1997. Because Isaac told me so, and he was right. There might be a God worthy of capitalization, after all.

* The Quickie-mart downstairs from my place carries the Graham flavor of the Keebler-brand Ready Crust (tm). It’s vegan! I’m sure it’s an accident at Keebler that brought this on, but I’m not looking a gift-horse in the mouth. Those are $2 I’ll happily spend at the Quickie-mart, over and over again.

** (a) Buy a small, ripe, culinary pumpkin. Peel it, dice it into 1-inch cubes, and steam it for a few minutes until tender, either in a veggie steamer or in yer microwave. (b) Also, I thought I’d let you know that I’ve had days where I needed pumpkin pie and didn’t have a fresh culinary pumpkin on hand. “Is it true?!”, you gasp. Yes, I say. It is true. There may have been a time, like maybe in the month of June back in 1998, when there were no fresh pumpkins available, yet I found myself craving the hominess of a fuckin’ pumpkin pie. I resorted to desperate measures and survived happily. It’s ok to use canned pumpkin pie filling. An ordinary 15-oz can will do. Check the ingredients list. If it’s got a bunch of sugar in it, lessen the sugar (maple syrup) in this recipe accordingly or you’ll find yourself sucking in your cheeks and burning your tongue with sweetness.

*** The best thing to do is to grind your own cloves. Actually, the best BEST thing to do is to dump all your spices (cinammon, ginger, cloves) into a clean coffee grinder and hit that shit for 20 seconds. Oh, yeah, baby! That’s the ticket! If you’re too lazy to clean your coffee grinder after this mess, your coffee will taste AWESOME for days on end. Seriously, delish!

****Now I’m just abusing the footnotes for reals, yo. I always spill molasses on the counter and make a sticky mess. It’s bad karma. Be careful with your blackstrap.